Undoing Aloneness During the Holidays

Do you know how to undo aloneness during the holidays? For many the glitter and glow of holidays cast a shadow of unfulfilled hopes in family/and love relationships. With media continually displaying cozy scenes, taking stock of your own situation is often painful. Finding comfort can be a challenge.

Here’s the tip: First, acknowledge your feelings. Tell yourself the truth about any emptiness and/or isolation, even if you think you ‘shouldn’t’ be feeling that way. Second, look pointedly past your ever-present list of family and others who haven’t made you a priority for those who have. Scan your inner list for people who get you, appreciate you, love you. They are there! Reach out to someone on the list to find time soon to be together in person, on the phone, or in a video chat.

Next, take a risk and be vulnerable. Reveal even a little bit of how you are really feeling. Ask your companion how they’re managing holidays. It’s very likely they have their own sore places. Sharing shoulders, hugs and tender listening with each other can provide a soft landing for bruised hearts.

Finally, make sure you are being kind to yourself during these difficult days. If you are shaming, blaming or criticizing yourself, look for the sad, mad, scared feelings that lie beneath. Allow emotion to move briefly through your body. Watch for the relief that always ensues. Focus on the relief and hold yourself tenderly in your own arms until you sense your connection to life return. You are loved.

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Triggered by Political News?

Have you been triggered by the news lately? When media footage is filled with bullying, shaming, sexual predation and menacing behavior by people supposed to be our leaders, many find themselves experiencing increased depression, anxiety, nightmares and other post-traumatic stress symptoms. Continue reading

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Do You Know the Surprising Truth about Forgiveness?

Like many, you may aspire to forgive when people have hurt you. Like others, you may also refuse to forgive…feeling some actions are just unforgiveable. Continue reading

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Do you know how to heal toxic shame?

If you’re alive, you’ve likely experienced shame…both healthy (which helps develop humility) and toxic (which brings a cognitively disorganizing collapse of self.) You may even feel ashamed of being ashamed…a double whammy. Continue reading

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Emotional Medicine Rx Mini Workshop at Mt Yoga, May 15th

Emotional Medicine Rx Mini Workshop Mt Yoga in Poway May 15th

You may have heard the adage, “If you change the way you think you can change the way you feel.” What you might not also know is “If you change the way you feel you can change the way you think!” Continue reading

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Getting Needs Met with Your Partner

Getting Needs Met with Your Partner | EMRx

Are you getting what you need in your primary relationship? If you’re like most, you’ve discovered getting needs met in love relationships can be tricky. One reason is an imbalance of power. Typically, one of the couple (for reasons of socioeconomic status, health status, parenthood status, and/or childhood trauma history) fears abandonment more than the other. Continue reading

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The Value of Procrastinating

The Value of Procrastination - Emotional Medicine Rx

Do you know the value of procrastinating? If you’re like most of us, the notion of procrastination raises the specter of slothful behavior impeding progress. However, research shows it’s often important to take your sweet time with creative projects. E.G. when people spent 5 minutes playing computer games before coming up with new ideas, their ideas were rated 28 % more creative than those who plunged right in. Steve Jobs and Frank Lloyd Wright were notorious procrastinators. The challenge is to find the balance between allowing play/delay time while not succumbing to perpetual postponement.

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Are You Too Lonely?

Emotional Medicine Rx - Are you too lonely?

Are you too lonely? While everyone feels lonely occasionally, ongoing social isolation is not only personally painful but also harmful to physical and mental health. Humans are communal animals. Being on your tribe’s periphery increases physiological stress and nervousness. Furthermore, research shows that social isolation increases your tendency to view the world as a threatening place.

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Introduction to AEDP: Healing Attachment Trauma

Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy

Healing Attachment Trauma: An Introduction to AEDP
Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy
With Ron Frederick on February 6th, 2016
in San Diego, California

The ability to identity, experience, regulate, and respond to one’s emotions, capacities born out of our early attachment experiences, is essential to mental health and well-being. Yet problems managing emotion abound and play a central role in most of our client’s presenting problems. How can we best help so many of our clients who, regardless of diagnosis, have difficulty being present with and making good use of their emotional experience, and emotionally connecting with others?

Unique in its intimate, moment-to-moment way of working at the edge of relational experience, Accelerated Experiential-Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP), an emotion-focused, attachment-based, neurobiology informed model of therapy, is ideally suited to transforming attachment-based trauma. This introductory workshop will focus on both the theory and technique of AEDP making extensive use of videotaped material to illustrate the concepts and techniques discussed. The speaker will illustrate how one’s emotional development can go awry, but how, when safety and security are catalyzed in the therapy relationship, innate emotions can be experienced as positive and free from fear, suffering can be transformed, resilience restored, and a broader range of personal and relational possibilities can be realized.

You will learn:
• How to make optimal, experiential use of the present-moment, relational experience to promote growth, resolve attachment trauma, and affect long-lasting change.
• How to bypass defenses and facilitate the dyadic regulation of previously feared to be unbearable emotional experience.
• Powerful techniques to rewire the brain and restore resilience that can be incorported into any clinical practice.
• To increase your own comfort with emotions and relational intimacy as well as your confidence and skill at helping clients navigate their own experiences.

Date:  February 6th, 2016
Location:  10065 Old Grove Road, Suite 200, San Diego, 92131
Prices:
Student & Interns – $145
Early Bird (Before January 22, 2016) – $165
Registration (After January 22, 2016) – $185
6 CEs Available 

Register for course   |   Register for CE

Ronald J. Frederick, PhDRonald J. Frederick, PhD, is a licensed psychologist whose career has focused on the transforming power of emotional and relational experience. He is the author of the award-winning book Living Like You Mean It: Use the Wisdom and Power of Your Emotions to Get the Life You Really Want (Jossey-Bass, 2009), a founding and senior faculty member of the Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) Institute, and Co-founder of the Center for Courageous Living, based in Beverly Hills, CA, which offers innovative therapy, coaching, and consulting. Noted for his warmth, humor, and engaging presentation style, Dr. Frederick lectures and facilitates workshops internationally. In addition, Dr. Frederick is a certified EMDR consultant.

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Replenishing Willpower

Do you know how to nourish your willpower? Whenever you resolve to maintain good habits or change harmful ones, you come face to face with temptation. Amazingly, new research reveals that willpower is like a muscle. It gets fatigued when over used and underfed. You’ve likely already noticed it’s harder to resist indulgence at night when you’ve spent the whole day being disciplined. Likewise, low blood sugar puts you in a danger zone for temptation as willpower requires glucose. Studies also show that suppressing feelings similarly depletes will power. Here are some things you can do to give your willpower the TLC it needs to stay strong.

First, keep taking emotional medicine. Cry when you’re sad, stomp when you’re mad, tremble when you’re scared, stop when you’re done and focus on the inevitable relief! Safely, responsibly, briefly expressing embodied emotion is not only good for your mood, your immune system, your heart, it’s also good for your will! Second, manage your glucose levels with foods that help keep blood levels steady: berries, sweet potatoes, nuts, etc.

Next, be strategic. Do self-care routines in the morning when will is high. Attend to important or difficult work/creative tasks early in the day before decision fatigue sets in.  Avoid blood sugar crashes. Move enticing substances out of your house. Take naps to give body, mind and will the pause that refreshes.

Finally, be ever so kind and loving to yourself no matter how well or horribly you’re managing habits. Replenishing your will begins with loving yourself enough to keep on keeping on.

Penelope Young Andrade LCSW,
EmotionalMedicineRx.com,
penelopeyandrade@gmail.com,
Twitter @EmotionalRx,
(858) 481-5752

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