No blame! Like all humans, your mind is Velcro for negative and Teflon for positive experience. Unfortunately this brain design often obscures the good that’s right here, right now – especially when things don’t match your pictures.
Here’s the tip. First, look inside and see if you’re ready to open to beneficial experiences even when they’re not all you’d hoped for. If not, get help to heal wounds keeping you stuck in ‘all or nothing’ thinking. If yes, allow yourself to feel (safely, responsibly, briefly in your body) the anger and grief that arise whenever life doesn’t match expectations.
Watch your embodied emotion move up, out, and done (in about three minutes max)! Notice that good feelings (relief, calm, etc) inevitably follow. Keep your awareness focused on those good feelings for another three minutes minimum! Feeling and focusing in this way actually shifts brain patterns. And, while still in this open state, review your day/week/month to look specifically for pleasure…from a stunning sunset, to a child’s laugh, to a loving call/email, to unexpected kudos at work.
Notice, too, how once you’re feeling good, it’s easier to access positive experience. Don’t be surprised if you even find a tiny glimpse of something beneficial in, around, or during disappointment! No pressure though. If you stay in your body, stay open to emotion, stay open to goodness, you’ll receive the unending gifts life is always sending…no matter how they look.
