What To Do When Your Life Isn’t Turning Out the Way You Want!


by Penelope Young Andrade

What can you do when your life isn’t turning out the way you want? Whether you’re facing events you can or can’t control, this kind of disappointment is very painful. It’s often accompanied by thinking there must be something wrong with you. Such self judgment is rarely helpful and actually leads away from finding peace or taking adaptive action. The challenge here is to find the soul lessons for which your circumstances are calling.

Here’s the tip. First, reach out for support. This is way too big to face alone. Find a safe place/person to help you feel the helplessness, grief, anger, fear beneath your disappointment. Go ahead and wail, stomp, shake…this is your life we’re talking about! Keep your attention focused in your body to notice the moment painful emotion turns to embodied relief regardless of your circumstances. Breathe and rest in this moment. Allow this inexplicable bit of respite to fuel you for the challenges ahead.

Finally, once your mind settles (and only then) look inside your heart and soul to see whether there is any action you could realistically take to shift things. See if you need to take more (or less!) responsibility, focus more on what you truly love, or change your expectations and attitudes. Conversely, check if it’s time to let go, grieve as needed, and accept what is. You’ll likely need to lay fallow and await further inner instructions before moving on. Remember, the deeper journey in your life is the inner one…the one that always ends in spaciousness and peace.  ©

Penelope Young Andrade LCSW

Twitter @EmotionalRx

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