Are you afraid of love?

For many the notion of intimacy brings an involuntary shudder of fear. All of us have experienced pain when our hearts were tender. If that hurt was too big, some decide never to be that susceptible again. While it’s healthy to shield yourself from emotional harm, shutting your heart completely brings its own misery. The challenge is how to defend your self while staying open for love.

beach-blue-girl-lost-love-imgflu-com-23411Here’s the tip. See if you’re ready to balance the security of protection with the risk of opening. If yes, check inside to see just how scared you are. If your heart is numb and heavily barricaded, it’s a sign you have unresolved trauma that needs healing. If necessary, get professional help. You need to feel you are safe and strong enough inside before you can feel vulnerable again.

When ready, take your trembling heart gently in hand and make a commitment to proceed with caution. Yes. sign up for dating sites, put the word out to friends that you’re available for relationship, but decide firmly to get to know someone before opening your heart fully. Researchers recently identified 36 questions you can ask and answer with a partner to give love a chance to flourish

Finally, when love comes, once you are secure in your own worth, you can experience the myriad gifts that love brings: a softened heart, the joy of companionship, the ecstasy of shared union, and an appreciation for all of life’s beauty. ©

Penelope Young Andrade, LCSW
From The Life Connection, February 2015

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