Are you ready to be your own good mother? As mother’s day approaches feelings often arise about the mothering you’ve received. Even if your mother was ‘good enough’ you may still long for someone (lover, friend, mate) to be sensitive to what you need without having to ask for it! If mother’s behavior was neglectful/abusive you may face additional issues with self care. Although yearning for sensitive attunement in relationships is innate and beneficial, once you’re an adult, responsibility for getting your needs met starts and ends with you!
Here’s the tip. Ask inside if you are ready to welcome and honor your needs. If you are numb/fearful/resistant about this, seek professional help. Anger, grief and shame may arise as you open your heart to yourself in this way. Breathe. Allow emotion to run its brief course through your body. If available, seek support from friends or family. If alone, hold yourself tenderly. Wait for the relief that flows from embodied emotional
Next, talk to the child within. Lovingly tell him/her you are there, you want to know what he/she needs, and you are going to do whatever you can to meet those needs. Follow up by checking in with yourself several times a day to see what you need to be well in that moment (a hug, cry, walk, talk, nap, snack, creative work, play date…) Finally, remember this: when you ask others for what you need and they give it to you…it means they care enough to be responsive. Happy Mother’s Day!
