Are you too lonely? While everyone feels lonely occasionally, ongoing social isolation is not only personally painful but also harmful to physical and mental health. Humans are communal animals. Being on your tribe’s periphery increases physiological stress and nervousness. Furthermore, research shows that social isolation increases your tendency to view the world as a threatening place.
While reaching out for connection is the first step to feeling included, this can be tricky if traditional associations (blood kin, neighbors, coworkers) don’t fit or feel safe. If you’re having a hard time finding your homies, chances are you’ve got inner issues getting in the way of locating the folks who will love and appreciate you just as you are.
Here’s the tip. Look inside and see if you are ready to let this loneliness go. If yes, take heart, your tribe is out there. Next, find at least one family member or friend to whom you can safely reveal your yearning for connection. If no one fits this category find a pastor, therapist or co-counselor who you feel really gets you. This is too big a project to take on alone. Stay in your body as you feel the grief, anger and fear that naturally arise as you face your longing to belong. Wait for the relief that follows. Feel your heart opening to yourself. There’s never been a better time to be your strong, weak, smart, dumb, complicated, simple, brave, timid, wounded, whole, unique self. You were born to love and be loved. ©
Penelope Young Andrade LCSW, EmotionalMedicineRx.com, penelope yandrade@gmail.com, Twitter @EmotionalRx, (858) 481-5752